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Writer's pictureDoula Synergy

Eternal Love Remains Forever: Honoring Grief Through Spiritual Practice



Building a Spiritual Practice to Honor Grief

Grief is one of the deepest expressions of love, a reflection of how much someone has meant to us. When we lose someone—especially a child—we are left with an un-fillable void. Yet, while their physical presence is gone, the love we hold for them is eternal. It remains within us, and through spiritual practices, we can nurture that love and stay connected with those we’ve lost.


A spiritual practice that honors grief allows us to hold space for both sorrow and love. It helps us process our emotions, find peace, and continue our bond with our loved ones, even beyond the physical realm. By embracing a routine that speaks to your spirit, you create an opportunity to connect with the eternal love that remains and build a lasting connection with your baby or loved one who has passed.


Here are some ideas to help you cultivate a spiritual practice that honors grief and allows you to stay connected with your loved ones:


1. Meditation and Prayer



Meditation is a powerful tool for navigating the intense emotions of grief. It allows us to sit with our sorrow in a way that is both gentle and transformative. During times of loss, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by emotions, and meditation can provide a quiet space to reflect, breathe, and simply be. By focusing on the present moment, you can ease some of the mental struggles and overwhelming feelings associated with grief.


To start, try simple mindfulness exercises. Sit quietly and focus on your breath. As thoughts of grief and sorrow surface, acknowledge them, but gently bring your focus back to the present moment. Over time, this practice can help you feel more grounded and resilient. Whether you meditate for just two minutes or a full session, these moments of mindfulness can make a significant impact on your emotional well-being.


Prayer can be another powerful way to find solace in grief and you don't need to follow a specific religion or spiritual practice to incorporate prayer into your daily life. Prayer can be a powerful way to connect with your spirit and your baby’s spirit, offering peace and clarity on your journey. It offers an opportunity to connect with a higher power, express your feelings, and ask for guidance.  


While formal prayers have their place, personal, intimate prayers that come from your heart can be especially healing. These moments of prayer are a time to offer gratitude, seek strength, or simply ask for peace.Whether through spoken words, silent contemplation, or writing in a journal, prayer invites stillness and connection, grounding your emotions and creating space for healing.


Here are a few types of prayers you might find meaningful:


  • Prayer of Gratitude: "God, I’m thankful for the good in my life, including ___________, ___________, and __________." Expressing gratitude, even amidst grief, can help shift your focus to the love that continues to exist in your life.

  • Prayer for Guidance: "Dear God, I ask for your guidance in making this decision. Please lead me to the choice that is best for me, my family, and suited for my path."

  • Prayer for Help: "Dear Universe, I trust in your wisdom and that there is a lesson to be learned from this experience. I ask you to lead me through this difficult time to a better day."


There is no right or wrong way to engage in these practices. The most important thing is that it feels meaningful to you.


2. Create a Sacred Space or Altar



Across time and cultures, humans have created sacred altars to connect with something greater, from the shrines of Ancient Greece to modern Day of the Dead altars in Mexico. Altars hold a significant place in spiritual and religious practices worldwide, helping us focus our intentions, prayers, and desires.


Altars are a space for connection with your higher self, your highest good, and your baby. They can help anchor you during times of grief and provide comfort by creating a physical space for your inner work. Altars are found in homes all over the world, where they are used to honor ancestors, deities, or simply as a personal space for reflection and healing.


A personal altar is a deeply meaningful way to express your spiritual and emotional journey, particularly after experiencing loss. Altars give physical form to your thoughts and prayers, helping you heal and reflect. They are places for meditation, prayer, personal growth, and creative expression. For those navigating grief, an altar can offer a gentle sense of stability, helping you ground your sorrow into meaningful action. It can be a quiet, dedicated place that nurtures your spirit, encourages your healing, and honors the connection with your baby.


How to Create An Altar

When creating a sacred space, there are no rules—trust your intuition and follow what feels right for you. Whether large or small, your altar is a place to reflect your emotions and intentions, providing comfort and support as you navigate your spiritual and healing journey.


Your altar can be anywhere that feels peaceful and personal—on a shelf, tabletop, windowsill, or a small table in a quiet space. The size is up to you, and even a small altar can be powerful. Keep the space clear of clutter and dedicate it solely to your spiritual practice. Consider these questions when choosing your spot:


  • Does this place feel ‘right’ to me?

  • Will I have privacy here?

  • Is it quiet and free from distractions?


Your altar is yours alone, so include anything that brings you peace, inspiration, or comfort. There’s no “right” way to set it up—choose objects that resonate with you. Here are some ideas:


  • Candles – Symbolize light, warmth, and spiritual connection. Lighting a candle can be a simple but grounding act.

  • Crystals and Stones – Rose quartz for the heart, or any stone that holds meaning for you.

  • Nature Elements – Feathers, flowers, shells, bones, or water can help ground and connect you with nature.

  • Prayer Beads – Tools for meditative prayer or chanting.

  • Photos or Symbols – Anything that represents your baby or your journey.

  • Offerings – Flowers, food, wine, oil, or incense to symbolize your prayers or intentions.

  • Objects Representing Life’s Continuum – Items that honor the cycle of life, death, and transformation.

  • Inspirational Quotes or Notes – Written words that give you strength and encouragement.


Visiting your altar regularly can become a comforting ritual, allowing you to connect with your spirit, your baby's spirit, and your innermost feelings in a safe and sacred space.


3. Light a Candle



Candles are more than just a source of light—they are believed to connect us with the divine and with those who have passed on. Across time and cultures, lighting a candle has been a way to send our intentions and prayers beyond the boundaries of the visible and material world. In the glow of a candle, the material world and the spiritual world meet, and we momentarily suspend time to become fully present in miraculous moments.


Candle lighting is an ancient practice used by every world religion, crossing all social, economic, and spiritual boundaries. The flame of a candle acts as a messenger of light, carrying our prayers and blessings toward the heavens. It’s a powerful way to connect with our deeper selves, our loved ones, and our highest intentions.


Lighting a candle can calm the nervous system, help us practice mindfulness, and create a peaceful, sacred space. Many of us light candles on our birthday cakes with a secret wish, while others light candles in remembrance of those who have passed, or in celebration of unity, such as in weddings. The power of candle lighting lives in our DNA, reminding us of the simplicity and strength of the flame, which has carried meaning since humans first discovered fire.


In the words of Anne Lamott, “grace bats last.” As the strongest hitter steps up with the bases loaded, a candle’s flame—having survived the test of time—brings us home to our deepest selves.


When you light a candle at your sacred altar, you invite this ancient ritual into your own healing process. Let the flame represent your connection to your baby’s spirit, your hopes, and your prayers. Allow it to guide your journey, providing a small but powerful light in the darkness.


4. Connecting with Nature



Nature provides a sanctuary for healing. Whether it's a serene forest, a tranquil lake, or a vibrant garden, immersing ourselves in the natural world can soothe the soul and offer moments of peace and reflection during grief. In the vast expanse of nature, we can find solace and perspective as we navigate loss.


In the journey of life, death and grief are threads we all must weave into our existence. While daunting and painful, these experiences hold profound lessons—many of which nature imparts to us. From the cycle of seasons to the delicate balance of life and death in ecosystems, nature offers wisdom that can guide us through the labyrinth of sorrow.


5. Journaling



Journaling is a powerful tool for self-development, spiritual growth, and emotional healing. It offers a safe space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and memories during grief. By transferring thoughts and emotions to the page, you transform your internal experience into a tangible form. This act allows you to process your emotions and gain clarity as you navigate your journey.


Consider creating a journaling ritual to enhance your practice. Dedicate specific times to write, perhaps lighting incense or brewing tea to create a sacred atmosphere. Journaling during significant moments, such as full moons or anniversaries, can deepen your reflections.


Use journaling to confront your ego and uncover ways to move forward. Ask yourself open-ended questions and respond intuitively. Your journal is a space to untangle confusing thoughts, honor your loved one, and explore your ongoing journey after loss.


Your journal can also serve as a conversation with your loved one. Writing to your baby and sharing your feelings and experiences can bring peace and understanding, maintaining your sense of connection.



6. Spiritual Symbols and Rituals



In grief rituals, participants choose or create a symbolic object to represent their loss, transferring their feelings onto it. This process makes intangible emotions tangible, much like how we handle a loved one’s ashes. The choice of the object must come from the participant, ensuring its personal significance. Once chosen, the object becomes a “power object,” imbued with concentrated meaning that the individual can keep for future reflection.


There are two main types of symbolic objects used in grief rituals: linking/transitional objects and melancholy objects. Linking objects, like ashes or memorial tattoos, help manage separation anxiety. In contrast, melancholy objects transform everyday items, such as a cherished coffee cup or clothing, into tokens of memory. These objects can be held, released, or destroyed, encouraging acceptance of loss and the emergence of new meanings.


Grief Ritual Ideas

  1. Memory Boxes: Participants create a memory box filled with items that remind them of their loved one, such as photographs, letters, or mementos. This box serves as a personal space for remembrance and reflection.

  2. Candle Lighting Ceremonies: Lighting candles in memory of the deceased creates a space for honoring their memory. Participants can share stories or feelings, allowing for communal grieving and support.

  3. Planting a Tree or Garden: Commemorating a loved one by planting a tree or flowers can symbolize new life and growth, fostering a sense of connection to the natural cycle of life and death.

  4. Artistic Expression: Engaging in creative activities like painting, writing, or crafting can serve as a powerful outlet for grief. Participants can create artwork that reflects their emotions, helping them process their loss.

  5. Releasing Balloons or Lanterns: Participants write messages or memories on balloons or lanterns before releasing them into the sky, symbolizing the release of their grief and the hope for healing.


Rituals are powerful due to their liminal nature, providing a threshold experience that facilitates healing. They allow individuals to confront and transform their grief through the safe handling of a symbolic object. Memorial services and communal grieving activities illustrate how ritual objects, such as flowers or songs, help us navigate loss together.


Closure is vital to ritual structure, allowing participants to integrate their experiences. This may involve cultural traditions or personal gestures that signal the end of the ritual. Supporting integration can include keeping a memento, processing the experience through creative expression, or discussing it with trusted allies.


Each grief ritual is unique, reflecting the participant's cultural background and personal experiences. Recognizing the vast differences in how cultures approach grief is essential, as is the understanding that modern therapeutic practices can complement traditional healing methods. Ultimately, grief rituals affirm that healing is a deeply personal journey that can draw from various cultural and creative sources.


Eternal Love Remains Forever

Even though our baby's physical presence is no longer with us, their spirit continues to live on in our hearts. The love we hold for our little ones is eternal, transcending time, space, and even death. Through spiritual practices, we can nurture that love, keeping it alive and creating meaningful ways to stay connected with our baby.


Honoring our grief does not mean we leave the pain behind; instead, it involves embracing it as an integral part of the love we continue to hold. Each step of this journey offers opportunities for reflection, healing, and connection with our baby, who remains forever in our hearts. Grief is a sacred experience, as is the love that binds us to our child eternally. Through spiritual practices, we can find solace, strength, and a deeper understanding of our loss, allowing us to honor both our grief and the cherished memory of our baby.



Pregnancy Loss Grief Circles

Our Grief Circles offer a place to connect spiritually with your loved ones through meditation, ritual and sometimes through creative expression and journaling. Check out Pregnancy / Infant Loss Grief Circles for more information.

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